This song is about Julie Gregory, whose autobiography touched my soul. Please, please, please read the story behind this song, please thank you xxx The beautiful picture is courtesy of Slacker G, thanks.
Acoustic folk, sometimes happy, sometimes sad.
sometimes happy, mostly sad. I favour a finger picking style but having said that quite a few aren't! To say something that might mean something to someone i've never met. I guess I hope that one day I might actually be able to describe my music without feeling crippled by self consciousness.
Story behind the song
This is the story of Julie Gregory as precised on the back of her autobiography.
"a young girl is perched on the cold chrome of yet another doctor's examining table, missing yet another day of school. Just twelve, she's tall, skinny and weak. Her mother, on the other hand, seems curiously excited. She's about to suggest open heart surgery on her child to "get to the bottom of this". She checks her teeth for lipstick and, as the doctor enters, shoots the girl a warning glance. This child will not ruin her plans.
From early childhood, Julie Gregory was continunally X-rayed, medicated and operated on in the vain pursuit of an illness that was created in her mother's mind: Munchausen by Proxy, the world's most hidden and dangerous form of child abuse. 'Sickened' is her story."
http://www.juliegregory.com/update.htm
What this doesn't tell you is the physical abuse she suffered at the hands of both her parents. It doesn't tell you that they burnt the house down with her dog in it..
This autobiography was one of the most appalling books i've ever read. I cried through most of it. And it happened, and is happening, today. now.
Here is a post from Julie on her forum dated 14 June 2005:
In response to your question, I've recently broken off ALL contacts (ie. my father as well) with my mother. She has (she doesn't suffer from, she HAS) MPB and made us all three kids sick, though on different levels. Don't feel like going into details about what she did coz it'd take too long, I wanna concentrate on the subject here.
I have told her and my dad that I know she has MBP, she's always denied it saying that I was crazy, that I should seek help, that I was the monster, that I was the one with MBP (as in, a child making her mother sick, LOLOLOL), anyways, because I always thought that there was a possibility she could change I hung in there and dealt with her regular emails where she'd go on and on about the diseases she had and the incompetent doctors who couldn't find the right treatment or wouldn't operate on her, or about how poorly my father was doing (us kids destroyed him with our false accusations, apparently. Again, let me laugh my fucking head off) So I stopped writing to her after a while, I think it was the time she mentioned those pills her own mother had taken during pregnancy, abortion pills apparently, and the effect those pills had on the grandchildren, ie. me. She was basically claiming that I was crazy and insane because my grandma had tried to get rid of her child, ie. my mother.
A while after that I landed my dreamjob, and I actually, sad pathetic me, sent my dad an email to let him know. I thought he'd be proud. i'm 27 and still craving for his approval. His reply was "well done. here is a picture of your mother's foot, she has finally found a specialist who found her disease and operated on her". The picture showed a swollen foot with iron sticks sticking out of each one of my mother's toes. The End.
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This song is still in demo form, i had a bit of cold, still that's not really important given the what the songs about.
Lyrics
You are a little bent
image in my mind
i don't recall the life
you said i led
still the camera brings
selective memories
i don't recall
them happening to me
I told you how it is (was)
I wrote it all down
Still you turn away
I'm speaking out loud
I know I shouldn't care
when you turn to me and say
I don't recall
it happening to me (you)
I'm evidence of you
running through my veins tonight
This mirror isn't true
I know i've seen inside
So tell me who I am
please
Tell me who I am
I'm part of you that sleeps and breathes
and wants your love
I'm part of you that sleeps and bleeds
and needs your love
So tell me who I am
Tell me who I am
Please
Please
