Based on a childhood joke I once heard.
Based on a joke I once heard and written for FAWM 50/90 2024
Bodily Battle
[2024/07/09]
[Introduction]
[Verse]
While I was sleeping one Saturday night.
My bodily parts got into a fight.
Each one argued who was the best
better than all of the rest.
Brain said I control everything,
tell you when something is wrong.
Without me, you're a ship lost at sea.
I know where you all belong.
[Bridge]
I send out the signals to eat, sleep and burp,
tell you when it's time to wake up.
Face it, I'm splendid and if this were a race.
I'd be the one with the cup.
[Verse]
Let's put that aside. Said Mouth with a sigh.
It seemed he had heard this before.
When you're hungry or have something to say,
it's me who opens that door.
If it wasn't for me, along with my teeth
you'd find things hard to swallow.
Call it impressive, whatever you like, but
me, I'm a hard act to follow.
[Bridge]
Arms and Hands were the next to join in
and they all shot Mouth down.
Without them together, speaking might be a breeze.
But while eating he'd look like a clown.
[Verse]
And next on their list, who'd scratch that itch?
The one that drives us insane?
And while we're there, you should all care.
Those itches are caused by Brain.
[Verse]
Right Wrist piped in with a sly grin,
so did Ears, Eyes and Nose.
No one heard from those parts kept most in the dark,
not caring what they might know.
[Bridge]
Legs, Knees and Feet said they keep the beat
and were needed to get around.
If it wasn't for them, then where would we be
dragging our way 'long the ground?
[Verse]
Butt then puckered up and blew his own horn.
Announcing he'd something to say.
The body parts laughed and snickered's daff-ed
but Butt carried on anyway.
All of the rest teased him with jests, told him
too zip and be silent.
Like a scolded pup, Butt clamped up.
Knowing there was no need to get violent.
[Bridge]
Bodily parts all carried on
from the soles of the feet to the crown.
'Till things started to change, all felt rather strange,
as things began to slow down.
[Verse]
Brain got fuzzy, and couldn't think,
Face and Mouth both turned green.
The rest felt the strain and the pain
while Butt down below loved the scene.
Butt stayed in his groove, letting not one thing move.
'Till everyone felt his power.
He whistled a tune like an evil tycoon and
stayed like that for an hour.
[Bridge]
All the parties agreed and did concede
that Butt was the winner.
So then Butt relaxed, letting gas pass,
from the junk food they had after dinner.
[Outro]
While I was sleeping one Saturday night.
My bodily parts got into a fight.
Each one argued who was the best.
It was Butt who would have guessed.
Copyright 2024 Douglas Murphy